Duality & All-or nothing

A cautionary letter to ADHD

duality

/djuːˈalɪti/

noun

• 1. the quality or condition of being dual."This duality of purpose was discernible in the appointments"

  
  

• 2. An instance of opposition or contrast between two concepts or two aspects of something; a dualism."his photographs capitalize on the dualities of light and dark, stillness and movement"

Being more than one thing at once may seem like a simple idea or even inherent … of course people are more than just one thing. However for some, especially those that are neurodivergent,  the concept of ‘all or nothing’ rings true like tinnitus in the eardrum. An annoying gnawing that deafens against anything else. What is my purpose, Who am I exactly, How do I do that… 

Identity can be a clear line to follow in the outdoor industry.  When a gaggle of instructor staff gather it is generally easy to ascertain who belongs to which tribe. The walking la Sportiva poster, wearing karabiner key chains belong to climbing, the DC shoes and board shorts adorned sailing jacket wearers belong to watersports and the Salomon beanie,  Oakley sunnies are the snow sports tribe. Is it that simple? Does it always have to be all or nothing? 

all-or-nothing

/ˌɔːlɔːˈnʌθɪŋ/

adjective

• having no middle position or compromise available."an all-or-nothing decision"

I fell into the outdoor industry a bit like Alice falling down the rabbit hole, tumbling through a tunnel of COVID despair, a rabbit hole shaped opportunity where a new world lay at the end.. I wasn’t supposed to be here… Curioser and curioser said Jasmine. I dove deep into the climbing wonderland giving it my everything, learning as much as I could. I wasn’t careful with it. Leaving to the wayside everything else… I have been incapable at times of seeing duality it was all-or-nothing. It is ok to think this way at times, I have gottern so much done, but balance must be restored at somepoint. Alice leaves wonderland in the end.  

This idea of all-or-nothing can be perpetuated by the industry culture. What do you do? what’s your thing? It feels good to feel a part of something bigger than oneself. Thinking in absolutes. However thinking in absolutes isn’t often helpful. I have found that to stop wondering what it is that I do, what tribe I belong too, what I wear to morph myself into the all-or-nothing caricature, has calmed my bouncing brain. 

Nature doesn’t feel absolute. The tide changes with the moving moon. The wind fluctuates and the rain, like the cold, comes and goes. Humans are like this too. Minds can change overnight. Humans can’t truly be allocated to a box of best fit, in all honesty the world will do that for you regardless of what is inputted. I am Imagining the possibility, the gift, of freedom to change. Removing identity from the career, the successes and the things that one does leaves things open to ebb and flow. 

Feel safe by no longer analysing and dissecting the soul.